Bella Shepard

This Morning

 

 This morning

As we stood waiting for the bus

I held your little hand

And laughed at the teddy bear hat

You chose to wear

It was your favorite

Your room was filled with teddy bears

There was the special one

You cuddled with

As I kissed you goodnight

The first one you received

When you were newly born

From the daddy who loved you so

He learned to change your diaper

How to give you a bath

He wanted to be part of everything

And he always made me laugh

He gave you your fishing rod

With Snoopy on the handle

I took pictures at the lake

As with the fish you did battle

It ended up that he’d set the hook

And let you reel it in

You were so excited

And in the end we let it swim

So many thoughts swirl round me now

Five years was not enough

To know the person you would be

If you had the chance to grow up

But that chance was taken away

On a warm and sunny day

When a shooter came to school

With malevolence on his mind

In his hands he carried a weapon of death

That spread gunfire near and far

Rapidly, indiscriminately

His victims had no chance

Countless children lost

Beloved teachers to

Lives shattered forever after

Inextinguishable heartache

And all I can do is ask

“Why?”

I grieve each day

For what should have been

A happy life cut all to short

By a senseless act made all too easy

I listen each afternoon as the bus goes by

It’s the worst time of the day

I should be waiting at the stop

To walk you home and fix your snack

But all I can do is sit

As a wave of pain envelopes my heart

And takes me back to “this  morning”

When all was well