I am just tired
I feel like a teenager
trapped in a kids body
I push to show her my true face
but it never comes out
she never believes me
cause I make sure she hears lies
I wish to never wake up the true
its best it stays dormant
I am exhausted of it all
it\'s like she see no love or trust in me
like I am no more hers
my lies dictated my relationship
that now the truth is submissive
I wish to tell her all my lies were just shams
but
I feel it is too late
I think I lost her everything
her trust, honor and love
how I pray to find it all
how I pray to receive a second chance
but its like I have lost more than a hundred
and it hurts me so
it slices my heart like a dagger
yet
I do nothing about it
I want to start a new
and make her smile
make her see my accomplishments
and make her see the pride she always wanted
but I can never succeed
I always tell myself that change will come
and that I will have a new genesis
and that life will finally come swimmingly
but it never comes
I am so fed up
not with her
or anyone
or anything
I am just fed up with myself