A month ago
or maybe a bit more
The doorway
re-opened
between us
I resisted, at first
Then dove back in soon thereafter
Our laughter swallowed up the heat rising from the city streets
It was pure bliss
Followed by him disappearing into the shadows, in which awaited the inevitability of his capture
I miss him too much right now to remember the beauty of our rapture
I don\'t know why one wrong twist always turns into such a huge space, filled only by my emptiness
He is still more easily swayed by false pleasures than he is by my unconditional love
He and I fit like a hand to a glove that he uses to box his way out of the closeness
He just left me out in the cold
Not high at all
Drier than the most brittle of the bones
A putrid lifestyle that he condones to the point of absurdity that I will never be able to wrestle with for very long
I was so sure this time that the world around us would be different
I thought that they would at least allow us to either sing our little song of love in peace or leave us the fuck alone altogether
But, that ignorant, stubborn, nasty black cloud was obese this time around
It insists upon winning him over
I am not going to make a wish when I see my next falling star nor expect a four-leaf clover to bring me luck
I\'m hotter than fire and I suck better than any bitch I know
He needs to find it somewhere within him to plant himself into my fertile soil and let the rain from Heaven fall upon us long enough to let himself grow
I don\'t know what more he thinks that he needs when we both already know that its all right here
But, I cannot sit around idle with my head up my rectum, blazed with senseless wonder
Hormones racing
Running away from all of the nonsense that I still somehow fear
One week every four years is NOT my idea of love from a guy who swears up and down that he is much more to me than a friend
I do know one thing
He had better return to me now and state his claim or the next soldier I see standing in the line will be taking over
He will see to it that his chances have all passed him by so his wish for true love with me will then have no choice but to come to its bitter end....
9/6/2015