larosamarchitada

Poetry of The Past in The Present

I miss you when the night progresses 

and my thoughts are full of our past caresses

Like when I’m studying real late 

and I’d call to wish you a good night’s sleep

I’d stay up for hours

and wake to a million messages wishing me a good day

like the feeling of receiving a bouquet of flowers

I miss you when I have exciting news

since it was you who I first turned to

I miss those naps we’d take during the day

where in each others\' arms we’d lay

and of course eventually we’d wake 

take each other to a sensual state

the feeling of each others\' skin

something so perfect it could have been a dream

I hate that our beautiful past seems so unreal

like an ambiguous memory, simply Deja Vu or a real memory of you

I hate that place that certain music takes me

like I’m stuck reliving the past only to remember we’ll never be

its true time has passed

yet our past is just so present 

forever wondering what it meant

honest I lament it 

not enough to take it back though 

this time apart is full of growth 

and living in what-ifs is a path of false hope

that only leaves one feeling morose

in reality we won’t ever know

unless our time and place re-align 

and we allow ourselves to leave the past behind

but I’ve stopped looking for these so called “signs”

taking my time to find mine

yet I miss you when I turn to dating

bc no one’s ever good enough

and I hate it when I think I’ve found the one

bc you get in my head

remind me I’m not good enough

a million thanks to you for that

and for your contribution in defining “making love”

bc I never understood the concept until I looked into your eyes 

screaming in my head 

words left repressed in our lips

as we loosened the grip on our hands and hips

those words never slipped

from you or me

just trafficked thoughts

of I love you

it was then I learned how to “make-love”

its more than sex

its caring for someone 

its trusting that someone

its intimacy 

its working together to build that feeling

its staring beyond each others\' eyes 

to hold their soul

to hold them whole

and when you’ve reached that point

its having the courage to say the words you have in mind

its solidified trust 

its not leaving those words un-said 

its letting go

that\'s “making-love”

but third time’s the charm right?

I have all the time to wait 

and if it feels right

and I take a chance

then I’ll have no choice but to call it love

with or without you

bc I miss you when the time progresses

and the chances of our future lessen

I miss you when we talk

and I realize that your voice has changed

and not for the better, now its bitter

but I could never hate you

I have a special place in my heart for just us

I’m not holding my breathe

no, I’m finally breathing

but that place remains locked with no spare key

so if its ever just you and me

lets take a chance 

we’ll test the seas 

we’ll ride the waves 

and if we make it to the beach

then I’ll know

we’re both finally good enough