Pretending to be happy is getting to hard for me
I don\'t know why it\'s so hard for anyone to see
Is it because Im too good at hiding behind fake laughs and a smile
Or because I\'m too good at pretending to love my life style
I\'m always wondering how do I make this life worthwhile?
It\'s so hard to put into words the way I feel
I constantly see myself as a third wheel
My nights always consist of fear and doubt
I don\'t know how to control my feelings and I always want to shout
I want to cry and punch something
I cry out for help but there\'s not a soul that is listening
I am ugly and gross
Repulsive at most
I hate myself down to my fingers and toes
Why can\'t i be glowing, and glistening
Why can\'t I be happy and skinny and witty
Why can\'t I be the girl who is always grinning, and looking pretty
I could have it worse so why am I sad?
Its not fair to have it so good
And be hurting so bad
It\'s a weird feeling, indescribable almost
But I will try to explain it
I could be surrounded by friends & family, walking through the city
And all I will feel
Is alone, and a disturbing self pity
Is there anyone out there who can help me understand
Stay by my side
And hold onto my hand
Tell me everything is going to be okay
Remind me that if I hold on and keep fighting, I will be untroubled one day
One day I will work through my trouble,
But right now life is one big unsolvable puzzle
But with every puzzle there is a solution
A conclusion to the delusion
A resolution that doesn\'t involve my own execution
I will stay here and keep fighting
I will hold on to my hope
Because whether I believe it or not
My life is worth it, and I will learn how to cope
If I want to see that light at the end of the tunnel
I have to keep going
Move like a river, that never stops flowing.