What have I done with my life?
A decade of binge, sex, drink and TV,
I earned my degree in street, failed to learn humility, humiliated my dreams into meaningless memories of the potential she used to see in me, I\'ve loved hard, fallen harder, stolen hearts, broke down armour, dropped my guard and lost my charm
Slept through ten years of sun rises
Partied through ten years of sun sets
With nothing but a hangover and afternoon breath to show for it
My favourite actor is 2 years younger than me, my favourite musician 3, I can\'t act like this doesn\'t bother me deep, I can\'t do that song and dance routine for another second, the tick triggers my inner bitterness, the tock fires the shot that shoots the bullet through my reasoning,
What have I done with my life? Resonates through my entire being,
Where there use to live and breathe unconditional belief in my dreams, now lives self pity and a need to feed a shattered ego with the scraps of acceptance that fall at my feet, their eyes were once opened wide by the picture i had painted on the blank canvas in their mind, slot machine reels spinning wild, landing on jackpot one reel at a time, tick tock boom..and I\'m back to the room, surrounded by eyes once open wide now blind to my dreams my belief my existence
But I do still exist
I still reflect in every pale of glass I walk passed, shoulders slightly sunken, eyes slightly dark , maybe the man staring back at me isn\'t the man I dreamed I\'d become, but the man I\'ve needed to be to get this far, what the fuck have I done with my life?... Survived.