It is 4am
you pop into my head
and for that short time
i forget how to breathe
sometimes it may cause my eyes to leak
my soul to scream out your name
because it hurts
oh darling it does burn
its not the bad moments that cause such pain
it is the happy memories that suffocate me
the times when you were mine
when you held me, kissed me,
when you were my happiness
because I know I’ll never feel it again
your breath on my neck as we sleep
you nibbling on my ear
what we once were
in those moments my mind wanders
it creates a fantasy where you’ll say you want me
that you secretly need and long for me
but that is all it can be...
a fantasy
because you don’t need me
you have her to fill that space
while my heart holds an empty void
where it once held yours so fiercely
you don’t need what we were 3 months ago
you don’t need our dates
the trip we took to Italy for our anniversary
The future we had planned
you don’t need the way we used to watch tv on the couch
how we went out with your friends together
you don’t need me coming to stay after work
or to think about cooking me dinner
you don’t need any of that.
And maybe one day I won’t either
but until that day comes
it begs the question
When will our happiness stop haunting me?