My Life, A Lie

I may look fine,

But really im dying

All this pain of mine,

I just feel as though im lying,

Just lying to myself,

About how I truly feel.

My worries are about my health,

As recently I haven’t had one single meal.

My appetite has slowly faded,

And with that I fear for my life,

My mental health has degraded;

I just want to end this with a knife.

But its not that easy, as I care too much,

About the people around me.

I just have too much of a soft touch.

I wish it would not be.

But Im just stuck in this loop of pain,

All my thoughts racing around my head.

How can this be humane;

I just don’t want to wake up from my bed.

But I don’t want to go back to my destructive ways,

As I feel as though its basically suicide;

Just letting my life go up in a blaze.

But this emotionality is locked up inside.

So that no one can truly see,

How pathetic I can be.