SECRETS OF THE DARK & EVIL

paulamcnealy


SECRETS OF EVIL

I kept my secret
for so many years.
To protect the one's I loved 
And because I suffered with fear

I would watch as you leave
I knew it was time to run and hide
Hoping he would forget about me
If only I could stay out of his sight

i didn't know what it was called 
I didn't know it had a name 
I just knew every time he touched
I felt so much shame.

I remember the very day
he yelled at me
Telling me to look up
Because he wanted me to see

That was the moment
I learned to give a blank stare 
For these were the evil things
I wished I could have been spared 

When I told you my secret 
You turned and walked away
I watched you disappear
leaving me not knowing what to say.

24 years has passed
That you choose not to be in my life 
I have to wonder if you ever loved me
And if you did, then why?

 

PS. When you kill someone you take their life.

When you molest someone you take their soul.

 

  • Author: paulamcnealy (Offline Offline)
  • Published: May 28th, 2016 08:28
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 18
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Comments2

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    HELLO PAULA - Thanks for caring and sharing. All children are vulnerable and personally I think male pedophiles should be castrated. Female pedophiles are much less common than male. What you experienced was very intense and (apparently) condoned by your Mother who ensured you were alone with your wicked Step-father. My experience in counselling those who have been molested as Children is "It takes the soul". Real love and TLC from those you love is cathartic but takes a miracle for your SOUL TO BE RESTORED. Thinking of you - praying for you BRIAN

  • paulamcnealy

    Brian thank you. I have put it behind me. I realize it was never my fault. I have never blamed myself. One thing it taught me is to always respect myself and in that way I learn now that I am one of the very few. The only thing I struggled or struggle is the betrayal of my mothers love. Many ppl ask why I never told. Well being 7 & 8 years old and and a loaded gun at his side was all the intimidation I needed. And as you grow older the reason for keeping your secret changes. In high school I often thought if others knew my secrets they would feel I was tainted. Sometimes I feel the only ones that really know the truth is me and my mom and my EX step father But most importantly Is God knows the truth. I find great comfort in knowing that. Thank you Brian



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