How Could No One See?

celestialhippie

I wanted to die

I don’t know how it went unnoticed

The bags under my eyes, black and blue

I barely slept and looked so weak

Hiding myself behind leggings and baggy sweaters

Behind foundation and eyeliner

Behind a fake smile and loving nature

 

I was a shadow of who I was

There was nothing I could want more

Than to take the gun to my head

Or to tie a noose around my neck

Or to let pills and alcohol poison me

Or to just bleed out on the bedroom floor

 

The only thing holding me back was the fear of oblivion

 

What would happen to my soul when I passed?

How would it affect the person that walked in on me?

Will all of my friends blame themselves?

Is anyone going to care that I’m dead?

 

I wanted to be a skeleton

With thighs that would barely let me stand up

And arms that couldn’t carry a backpack

A body that wouldn’t be able to stand

 

I wanted to ruin my body,

My soul

And every ounce of myself

  • Author: celestialhippie (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 8th, 2016 23:11
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 34
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Comments1

  • Neaves15

    many have seen
    and many have tried
    but you allow no one to see
    what is on the inside

    i have gone down that road
    and experienced the pain
    tried to take mine twice
    but luckily i was saved

    whether it was simply chance
    or a complete miracle
    i stand strong in my body now
    both spiritual and physical

    after countless sleepless nights
    and body dropping tragedies
    i now refuse to allow myself
    to become another casualty

    please talk to someone
    whether best friend or complete stranger
    put away those thoughts
    and rid yourself from your own danger

    there are people out there waiting
    with arms open wide
    waiting on you
    to take your first stride



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