Childhood Impressions

 When I was a young child I formed a point of view

When it came to the grown ups I thought:

This is how they see you.

The time I was at infants school the teachers all liked me,

I was polite and well behaved

As a child ought to be.

I enjoyed the teachers' company,

I was perhaps a bit of a teacher's pet,

They humoured and they nurtured me

And all my needs they met.

It came then as something of a shock some nine years down the line,

When I stumbled across a school report written at the time:

"He is not a leader, and neither is he easily led.

He does not play easily with other children...

Prefers his own company instead."

"He hates to be kept waiting" was another point they made

"And demands attention when he wants it" concluding what they said.

All these things were written in this school report

And when it came to the points they made, I'd never really thought...

Now I kind of love to hate myself, thinking of the illusion I was under

and often lay awake at night and of these things I wonder.

I don't say they were wrong at all- is it good to be self- aware?

Should I be myself or different?  Should I really care?

Should I accept myself for who I am and embrace my personality,

Or try and be somebody else?  I'm not sure just who to be.