Goldfinch60

Falling Faith.

Faith!

Why should I have Faith?

Most of my life I have followed,

Tried to follow the Christian way,

The way of forgiveness,

That Jesus has shown us,

My wife more so.

But what happens?

Her voice is taken from her,

That voice which has sung your praises,

Sung them for over seventy years!

Now you take her body from her,

So she struggles to get to Church,

But still goes as her Faith is still strong!

And now you take her mind,

Can no longer remember,

Always repeating.

Even now losing her Faith,

Even she questions it,

As do I.

Is this a punishment to me?

What have I done?

Now she suffers

And now I suffer as well,

As my life is spent

Caring for the one I love.

Caring for her,

To keep her safe.

My Faith is going,

Hers is increasing,

But it is changing,

To have Faith in me.

But I am only human

And can only help

Until I fall,

Fall into a chasm of despair.

 

Comments7

  • orchidee

    It's difficult. Easy to give 'pat answers', saying He knows, He cares, etc. Yet it is true. I maybe have 'blind faith' or believe naively at times. I know it's easy for me to have faith, even strong faith, when all is cosy, all going well.

  • orchidee

    Yet some churches I think: Why bother to have faith? if it seems to just be bumbling along and getting nowhere. Though that could be just 'having faith in going to church' or in the services. Hold on tight there. I feel it's better to have faith in Him that in ourselves. And then my usual 'I don't know why' is my answer to many things. My hymn-poems seems to state facts. I suppose one could write them and just believe in Psalms as historical records, yet to me they are more than that.

  • Damaged Soul

    It's not God taking your wife my friend. 1st John 5:19 explains this,, Saying,

    We know that we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the hands of the wicked one..

    It is not God, but Satan that has caused our collective misery. Yet that does not make our suffering any easier, it just is a comfort to know that our Creator is not the cause. According to scriptures one day these wrongs will be corrected by God. Revelation 21:1 thru 5 promises this. Yet it's the meantime that I, and you and your wife suffer with. My poem asking why is not asking why God does these things causing such misery.. My poem was asking why God continues to allow Satan to rampage our existence. There are specifics in scripture as to why God is allowing this misery, yet I struggle with the WHEN it will end, more than the WHY it continues to be allowed. Its tough to keep faith strong when you are completely broken inside, and God always gets the blame, but thats a man made conclusion and not scriptural in any way. Its not God creating the misery. I have been a Bible scholar for over 40 years, and I teach scripture, and it never ceases to amaze me how the true meaning of human kind's woes are wrongly placed upon God when it is scripture that plainly states whom is at fault. I know from experience this knowledge does not make it any easier to bear the suffering, but just knowing that our Creator who is suppose to love us, actually DOES love us and does not contradict His love by causing us to suffer brings a measure of comfort. In fact, scripture states that when all is finally said and done, God will put an end satans reign, and peace and well being will be restored to the earth and mankind. Its just the wait that's killing me.

    • Goldfinch60

      Thank you Robert, I believe in what you say but as you well know it does not make anything easier, I am sure that my Faith will hold up but I believe we all have this questions when our lives become so low.
      I will rise above this in time.

    • OUTBACK

      WHEN ONE BECOMES THE [AUTHORITY OF ONES OWN LIFE]* ! ONLY THEN ! THE CHALLENGE ? TO STAND ONES OWN GROUND : NO MATTER WHAT IS SO PROCLAIMED BY ANY SO CALLED AUTHORITY FROM ON HIGH ! MOST IN THIS WORLD FEAR SUCH A CHALLENGE DUE TO THE HARBORING OF HOPE & FEAR : THE HOPE OF REWARD & THE FEAR OF PUNISHMENT ! LIFE IS NOT A REWARD & DEATH IS NOT A PUNISHMENT ! ANGER* IS JUSTIFIED AT THE IRONY OF EXISTENCE AS IT SO IS : IT IS ONES SELF RIGHT ! NO MATTER WTF* OTHERS MAY PROCLAIM IT TO BE - WRONG ! [STAND YOUR GROUND]* ! NO ONE OWNS* YOU BUT YOU ! GOOD & EVIL ARE BASED UPON THE ASSUMED* PREMIS OF [ DUALITY ]* ! - THAT'S THE GAME* ! & ALL SO PLAY IT : AS SUCH & MEET THE CHALLENGE ! BELIEVE* NOTHING* YOU ARE TOLD IS TRUTH*: BUT THAT BY WHICH YOU SO PERSONALLY REALIZE* FOR & BY YOURSELF !

      • Goldfinch60

        Thank you OB I intend to meet the challenge and will go forward into the game.

      • OUTBACK

        WITHIN THIS DARKNESS IS LIGHT ! THAT LIGHT *TO BE (REALIZED)* -IS [ YOURSELF ] ! WHEN ALL HOPE* HAS BEEN VANQUISHED* - SO ALSO WILL HOPELESSNESS* BE VANQUISHED AS WELL ! THE ELIMINATION OF ONE IS THE ELIMINATION OF THE OTHER !

        • Goldfinch60

          I always go towards the light and always advise others to do the same.

        • BRIANSODES

          Thanks for your very frank confession BROTHER ~ It made me sad but at the same time it honestly highlighted some of the issues that test our Faith ~ especially for Christians in later life. You have enjoyed the blessings of Christian Service with a Godly Wife at your side supporting you in all aspects of your Ministry ~ not everyone has such a blessing from the Lord. Remember our Catholic Priests are celibate and have no such blessing. I can understand that your wife's dementia is gradually removing that blessing from you. I have never faced such a circumstance ~ I trust (and pray) that I would be Praising the Lord for all his past blessings. As we grow older we see our Grandparents and Parents die and deteriorate and also we suffer the loss of siblings and people in our extended Family ~ that's life. As Christians we have the privilege of PRAYER and also the assurance that our loved ones are in Glory and that we shall meet them again. You are on my Prayer List GF and I trust that when you count your blessings (past ~ present ~ future) you Faith in GOD will be restored and strengthened ~ AMEN. Yours in Christ ~ BRIAN

        • Goldfinch60

          Thank you so much Brian, my Faith will return. It amazes me, although it shouldn't , on how supportive the people on this site are, thank you and thank you all.



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