Throw it up and spin it over; watch it as it falls
Then pick it up and try again until the old man calls,
“Not in here! Take it out! Flip it out of doors!”
I’m going flipping crazy with this flipping craze of yours!”
You’re deaf: you’re in the flipping zone, you cannot hear your Dad:
This stubborn bottle won’t be flipped – you’re going slowly mad
Flip and thud and flip and thud - its got to happen soon
Its nearly flipping Christmas and you started this in June
Paul does it with one eye shut whilst standing on a chair
Dave can do two at a time - and cross them in mid air!
Your technique can’t be wrong because you’ve seen YouTubers do it
You copied them for weeks until you thought you finally knew it
But still that flipping bottle just refuses to land straight
And on your 40 millionth fail is sown a seed of hate
Which grows and fills you up inside, frustration at its core
Until you scream out, “Jesus Christ! I can’t flip any more!”
You grab that bottle, filled with rage and fling it at the wall…
Then stare, amazed at how that little bastard thing should fall.
This Highland Spring, your waste of time, which rendered you unstable
Has flipped – and now sits proudly on your parents’ dining table.