It’s such a mind boggling idea, that someone could ever love Me.
I don’t even love myself.
Its not that I don’t want to , I long to find love for myself.
To look in a mirror and not feel down; not feel drowned.
But I’m not comfortable with the body I breathe in.
Because I measure myself up to everyone else as if we are all in a competition.
one great societal expectation of a competition.
I think I’ve lost myself again...
It does it not matter how many times you tell me I’m beautiful. The words drown in my view. Because to me I’m a nothing , I will always be nothing.
They tell you to be happy you must love yourself.
I can’t find the courage to do so. Because loving yourself means accepting your flaws and I’m not ready to do that.
so I continue to cover them up , continue to diet . Because even though I know loosing weight or dying your hair gives temporary fulfilment , it’s all I can manage.
I dont even love myself.