I can’t breathe, it honestly feels like I’m in a world full of people all different colors of the extended rainbow but then there’s me a black pretending to be a purple or blue. Nothing feels okay. Sometimes it feels like I am a pathological liar with a psycho’s mentality because I\'m always lying about how I feel and everything feels numb then it doesn\'t then it does again. Sometimes I felt ready to cry but then I stop myself. It feels like there a war inside of me that no one can help me with. I’m anxious, I’m a liar and worst of all I’m alone. Let’s not forget all the shit I’ve gotten into and I’m terrified of what might happen to me. But that’s not what’s slowing me down. I’m depressed again. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped being depressed. There is no medication no treatment no Philhaven that can help me. I’m the poison your parents shield you from, I’m the salt that looks like sugar, I know that I’m fucked up inside and it feels like I’m crying out for help. And no one hears a damn thing they only see my smile, and my hair flip when I laugh I feel like a castaway on the other side that everyone leaves to find happiness.