I sit here on my bed
Holding my stuffed animals
And crying to myself
I look pathetic
No, I am pathetic
Because I messes up
Again
Replaying everything I did wrong,
I realize I barely did anything right
It\'s always like that
Even one good thing doesn\'t matter,
Because I always make more mistakes
Than I don\'t
I sit here on my bed
Remembering how bad i felt
Remembering how mad you were
Remembering that i messed up again
I can do my best, and you don\'t
Seem to notice
I never get a \"Thank you\"
I never get a \"You\'re doing a good job\"
I never get a \"It\'s ok, things happen\"
Instead I always get a
\"That\'s not acceptable\"
\"You\'re failing\"
\"What do you think you\'re doing?!\"
I sit here on my bed
Begging God to fix me
To make me better
To make it so I never make mistakes again
To make it so I never let anyone down
If He has to, make me a whole
New person
Or get rid of me
If I wasn\'t here, I wouldn\'t make
Mistakes
No one would yell at me
No one would get mad
No one would accuse me
No one would hate me
I sit here on my bed
Not wanting to be crying
Not wanting to be breathing
Not wanting to be anything
Except for gone