So Much Pain In My Heart.. I Feel It In My Throat Trying To Choke Me,
A Million Thoughts In My Head.. I Just Cant Forget What My Father Told Me.
I’m Useless, A Disappointment, I Can Never Make Someone Proud,
Hoping There’s No One Around Who Can Hear Me ‘Cause I’m About To Scream Out Loud.
I Think This Is It,
Where I Choose To Quit,
Don’t Have To Worry About Anyone ‘Cause No One Cares.. Not One Bit.
I Have No Fight Left In Me.. I’m So Tired Of Disappointing,
My Parents Won’t Have To Deal Anymore With The Child They’ve Been Avoiding.
I Don’t Get It? All My Prayers, Did God Choose To Ignore Them?
Just Wanna Know Why He’d Create A Baby When This World Wasn’t Meant For Them?
I’ve Been Battling Depression.. All My 28 Years Of Living,
Maybe Next Year Things Will Change.?.. Yea Right Who The Fuck Am I Kidding!?
I Grew Up Without A Father.. He Was There And Then He Wasn’t,
I Thought By Now He’d Choose To Love Me But It Turns Out That He Doesn’t.
My Mom Was Just Too Young When Her Life Fell Apart,
16 And Pregnant Without Being In Love..Now She’s Left With A Lonely Heart.
Almost Everyday Her Youngest Is Getting Poked For Her Blood,
While Her Oldest Is Mentally Suffering And Still Struggling With Drugs.
Baby Sis Just Wants To Write Movies But Her Kidneys Slow Her Down,
I’m Tired Of Seeing Her Depressed And Exhausted In All These Hospital Gowns.
I’m So Mad At Myself,
I Fucking Need Help,
How Could I Put These Bottles And Drugs Before My Sisters Health?
I Can Tell This Is The Worst My Mother Ever Saw Me,
Losing All This Fucking Weight And Intoxicating My Body.
I’m Crying In The Dark,
As I Break This Shit Apart,
I Can Sit Here And Pull The Trigger, But I Dont Wanna Break My Mom’s Heart!
How The Fuck Do I Manage To Always Stay Broke?
It’s Like I’m Just Meant To Suffer, I’m The Biggest Fucking Joke.
Everytime Im Happy And Have My Life Back Together,
My Demons Come Out To Play And Say “Come With Us, Life’s So Much Better.”
Temptation Can Be A Bitch When You Have A Broken Heart,
The Girl I Loved Just Fuckin’ Left Me And Tore Me The Fuck Apart.
I Lost So Many Friends That I Wish I Never Had,
Just Like The One That I Thought For 13 Years Had My Back.
This Whole Time I Never Knew Why Many People Didn’t Like Me,
That’s ‘Cause This Bitch’s Stories Were Always “Denise Tries To Be Just Like Me”.
“Denise Is Really Dumb”,
“She’s Nothing, She’s A Bum”,
“She’s Always So Depressed, There Ain’t Shit That She’ll Become”.
She Claimed My Life Was A Tragedy,
She Must Of Lived In Some Fantasy,
She’s Always Making Sure The Girls She Wants Never Come After Me.
It Seems Like The People That I Always Held Close,
Are The Ones Who Enjoyed Lying And Hurting Me The Most.
Many People Do Drugs To Escape The Pain They’re In,
I Use Them To Feel Something, That’s How Fucking Dead I’ve Been!
All These Thoughts In My Head Dont Make Anything Any Better,
Don’t Know If This Is Me Crying For Help Or Writing A Goodbye Letter.
I’m Tired Of Being Used,
And Feeling Confused,
Begging God To Help Me Smile But He Fucking Refused!
Seems Like Me Being Happy Is Always Forbidden,
That’s Why To The One’s I Cared About I Was Always Fucking Hidden.
My Father Doesn’t Know Me,
My “Best Friend” Is Jealous Of Me,
It Kills Me Knowing My Babygirl Never Fucking Loved Me!
The Devil Is Already Laughing And Saying He’s Won,
‘Cause I Haven’t Stopped Crying Or Put Down My Dad’s Gun.
I Wanna Go, But I Won’t Do It ‘Cause I Don’t Wanna Be Selfish,
So I’ll Sit Here And Finish Crying In This Room I Locked Myself In.
I Love My Sister And Hate That I Never Told Her Those Words,
How Can I Just Give Up My Life When My Sister’s Fighting For Hers?.
Guess I Have No Choice But To Suffer And Deal With The Life I Was Given,
I’ll Keep My Pain The Way They All Fucking Kept Me, You Know.....
Hidden.