The pain in my chest is so intense.
That I find trouble in catching my breath.
Yet I wear my mask like the best of them,
Fumbling through the motions of the day
Drowning in the effort it takes to smile
Choking on the words coming out of my mouth
Like they are just a little too big to make it past my teeth
I’m not sure if you can see the fear that paces behind my eyes
But it whispers to me
That I am not good enough
That I cannot be
That the only certainty in this world is that
Everything comes to an end
And my brain dilutes that thought to exclude the light at the end of the tunnel.
Its not about happy endings here
It never has been
Soon thoughts play off of
deep seeded emotions
And before I know it
I am a war zone
Of unmet expectations
And sky high unattainable goals
I envision climbing to the highest one taking a deep breath and jumping
On the way down I think
I bet that is what freedom feels like
Wind rushing through my hair
The sun kissing my skin
In that limbo between those sky high dreams
And the inevitability
that
Everything
Eventually
comes to an end
-B-