The Retired Bloke

I Feel Like Stretch Armstrong

I feel like Stretch Armstrong

A bit of yoga it didn’t take long

To get into positions not natural

Seemed at first very irrational

 

To do a downward facing dog

Breathing easy to clear the fog

Things got tough I became a warrior

Aching limbs I became even sorrier

 

Struggling to balance on my mat

Thinking where to place my fat

That I’d even bothered to turn up at all

She said it’d be good I would have a ball 

 

Another stretch this time a locust

Praying to god this torture must

End and be able to stand up normally

Oh no another movement of deformity 

 

Relax she said as I balanced on a brick

Hoping that it’d be over pretty quick

Our next move was against a wall

Keeping us up to prevent a fall

 

I’ve got to admit it was better than expected

Not a sport I would have voluntarily selected

It set me up for a pretty good day

Well until the next time namaste.