An ugly, lofty thought
burrowing deep inside my mind,
burning its image in my heart,
I resort only to my pride.
God, where are you now,
when the lies build up inside me?
Where do you hide
when they start to redefine me?
My ear is trained to hear your voice
but that constant has gone silent,
and now I’m stuck here in this void
as these thought start getting violent.
I cry out to hear your truth
but I feel more alone
as the lies start getting louder and
the fears still feel like home.
God, why can’t you approach me
when I’m crippled with my fears?
I know they’ll go away
once I feel you drawing near.
In my darkness I can’t see you -
like I’m wandering in night -
for I know your familiar presence
is a crippling bright light.
Lord, replace these itching fears and lies
and fill me with your truth.
Pull me back to earth and
renew me to my roots.
Remind me that my failures
are forgiven in your sight.
Cast out all my anxiety
and give me peace in this dark night.
Humiliate me with your love
till I’m naked and ashamed
and reclothe me with your mercy
so your kingdom I can gain.
God, you hide from no one
despite what we have done,
and though I can’t feel you now,
I know you’ve been there all along.