This feeling is so amazing
It makes me smile for no reason at random times
My heart beats faster the longer time goes on
I\'m terrified of losing it... Terrified of losing you
Those were the thoughts running through my head
Every single time I was with you, every time you
would touch me, kiss me, be around me
Those moments were worth all the pain I had felt up until then
Because with you I wasn\'t dreaming anymore...
I was actually living
It felt like you and I were the greatest plan
God knows I loved you with every single cell in my body
But I couldn\'t handle the pain I felt when
you decided we weren\'t the greatest plan after all
It was too much for me, on top of what just had happened to me
And so I hated you
I hated every single thing you said up until
that moment, the moment when it was all over
Where everything I had ever wanted shattered right in front of me
I hated seeing you
I hated not hugging you
I hated not kissing you
I hated the fact that I had to pretend you didn\'t exist
I hated walking past you avoiding your eye contact
I hated that you said you missed me
I hated that you apologized
I hated that you said you still loved me
Because I still loved you
And I hated myself for still loving you
Every single time I said that to you
I meant it.
I really did love you
And.. Maybe I still do
But that doesn\'t matter anymore
I can\'t be with you
You\'re not mine.
You never really were mine
You and I will never happen again
Simply because I refuse to let it happen
I can\'t keep loving you
But I can\'t seem to stop
So I can never see you again
Or talk to you again
I have to pretend you and I never happened
For my own good
So that I can love someone
That truly truly
loves me back... Unlike you.