Cynthia

Sister...

My sister and I were walking together along the sidewalk in town. She was my secret twin and best friend. Then a drunk driver hit her in front of my eyes. She had shoved me out of the way. She died instantly. I want to be okay but I still can’t get over it, I can still see her mangled body when I close my eyes. I watched the monster continue driving as I screamed for help. I tried my hardest to pretend I was happy but people could see past my fake smile. I was drunk on sorrow and I couldn’t sober up no matter how much I tried. When I fell asleep I’d dream of that day and wake back up. Dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep. She is resting in peace but I’m not. I’m not at peace at all. We had so many great memories. I’m 16 soon to be 17 and yet she is not. She is stuck at the age of 9. I wasn’t able to tell her goodbye because I would cry and I felt as though I was going to break and I’d never be able to pick myself back up again. I’m still lost in this cold world and it continues to get crueler and crueler.  I wish I could see her one more time and ask her why she jump in front of me? Why did she have to leave me? We were supposed to graduate high school, go to college, both marry good guys, and always be there for each other but now it’s just me in the plans we made. We wanted to open a pet grooming business and all. Now I can’t see me doing that with you. We were so close that it was as if we were one person all together. We were so happy. Now you’ve left me here behind. It hurts to know we will never grow old together. She’s in a better place now. I miss her. I miss her a lot. If I could go back to that day I would have never told Kat we should go down the shortcut even though I knew it’s where the drunks all drove around. I feel as though it’s all my fault that she’s dead. I knew not to go down there but I took her down the road anyways because we were late getting back to our mom and her adoptive mom. I wanted to get back to our parents faster so as to not make them angry. It was my turn to switch with Kat so she could go home with our mom. My siblings and the rest of my family, other than my grandmother, didn’t know I had a twin. My mom didn’t want anyone to know that she had to give Kat up for adoption because my mom couldn’t take care of four kids, barely even three plus herself. That day changed my life forever. We always had fun when we saw each other. We’d go on adventures. We’d explore the woods on the edge of town, climb the old rock wall in the middle of the park. Then we’d go back to our moms. They didn’t mind us running around the town because we knew everyone there, it’s a small town after all. Our little town has no trouble unless you go down “Drunk Street” like we did that day. I didn’t know it would happen. I should’ve never taken her down there. I wish I could ask her why she didn’t let me get hit instead. I mean I should’ve been the one to die, not her. She didn’t want to go down the shortcut but I told her we needed to so we could get back. I convinced her to go down that road. I feel horrible for it. I’m the cause of her death in my eyes. My mom tries to tell me I’m not but I know better. Kat wanted to start a family pet grooming business that would last for a long, long time. She can’t do that now but I still can. I’m going to start that business for her. I will buy a nice place and turn it into the best pet salon that Keystone has ever had. It’ll be named Kat’s Pet Salon in honor of my beloved sister. It will be passed down my family like she wanted and it’ll be family owned. I will do everything I can to make sure our business blooms. I want to make her happy and proud. I wish she hadn’t of pushed me out of the way but I thank her everyday. Though I wish she was still here I’m grateful I’m still alive because of her. Kat will always be my hero. My mom is also my hero but Kat, she can never be beat in my eyes. I wish I was as brave as her but I’m not. I live everyday as though I’m living it for the both of us. I have bad days, we all do, but I also have great days and those are the days I wish Kat could see. I miss her dearly. Some people try to tell me true love is meant as a man and a woman fall in love with each other but I believe that it’s not just that, it’s someone who holds the key to your heart and is so very much important to you that absolutely no one can replace them. Kat is my true love. It might sound weird to others but no one can replace her. She will forever be the person I love most. After all, she’s my sister and also my hero.