I woke up today
8 am, as always
Nothing has changed
It\'s all the same
I\'ll get ready
Say goodbye to my family
Smile and wave
To the stranger on the street
Enjoying the breeze on my face
I clock into work
And tie my apron around my waist
I know the drill
I\'m comfortable here
One customer compliments me
The other criticizes
Neither fazes me
I brush it off
And rejoin my co-workers
Some are friends
Others are like family
We joke and we laugh
We gossip and we chat
Our daily duties go by in a flash
8 hours in and it\'s time to leave
I punch in my number
And collect my receipt
5 days into the week
And already 26 hours registered
Time to head home
I\'m greeted at the door
Stepping inside, the dogs surround me
Hoping for love
And perhaps a surprise treat
The rest of the night is a blur
A routine on repeat
Dinner, and then I\'ll watch some t.v.
Maybe I\'ll clean my room
I\'m the last to sleep
I walk into my room
Uncertain as to why
I feel so ashamed
This immense anxiety soon fills me
I don\'t want to spend the night alone
But I always do
That never changes
I change, and lay my head on the pillow
Like every night
I spend hours on my phone
This time I was on YouTube
I was watching music videos
6, maybe 5 hours before I have to get up
I say enough, and shut it off
I close my eyes and soon fall asleep
Tomorrow, I will repeat everything
Tomorrow, I will wake up
I will look in the mirror
And feel inadequate
I will get ready
But still feel stupid and ugly
I will leave for work
And feel like an idiot
Riding a bike in December
But I don\'t have a choice
At work I\'ll do my best
I\'ll smile and look like I\'m having fun
When all I want to do
Is clock out and hide at home
Sometimes I\'ll use the restroom
Just so I have a place to cry
The hours I\'m working
Are exhausting
But I still ask for more
At home I immerse myself in fictional worlds
Some are on the t.v., others on my phone
I laugh and I have fun
But when the night is done
The hollow loneliness from within
Becomes abundantly clear
I lay my head on the pillow
And pray
Let this be the end
For tomorrow I\'ll have to do it all again
I\'ll have to pretend