Everything just paused a few minutes ago
It is all trying to come together
Fitting nicely around me in slow motion
For the first time ever, I have actually been able to watch it all unfold...
Its because of the difference in energy levels here
Back home, it all gets too crazy at times
All of my great detective work doesn\'t go unnoticed as it does here..
You don\'t want to be noticeable
They can sense fear more than anything when you are studying anything around here..
It is not like it is in New Mexico
I had to come this way to let my homeland heal without me
When I look back on my Nomadic past..
I remember being here before
I clicked with the closest person who reminded me of home
A young, Hispanic thug boy who lived with his parents who were unaware of his intake of alcohol and drugs
The entire neighborhood seemed like white suburban holy rollers
My younger sister is still holier than thou and judgmental to this day..
anyway...that is another story that pales in comparison to why I am writing this all down..
My men are all here..I know they are mine..
I have never seen so much beauty in jail for such a tiny town..
Something very powerful, yet not sinister insisted upon taking me there over and over again..
Then, to the one at the other end of the rainbow that connects the two points in the sky..
My animal instinct has shown me where I have needed to leave my scent..
My little heart was all over the place when I first arrived here..
Boy crazy is not even close to what I was then
Now, I am still in that same zone but flailing is not even possible now..
I must be mindful now of who I choose to reveal because henchmen are identical , despite which side they are working for..
Things change drastically and against the light within me..I have had enough of that bullshit already
I am trying to keep things moving in a steady flow..
I go up, I come down
Its not easy to be the hard ass who I need to be to myself to make shit happen on a larger scale
Its like I am still in the zone back home breathing in the scent of sycamore on the air..and I exhale to find myself here, far away from home..
I keep wondering what exactly it is I have been sent here to get done..I wonder if I\'m doing it or if I\'m lagging way behind..
My mind is centered
I give in to the gravitational pull like they pull the wool over their eyes..
Still in the zone in a different place like a miniature version of the same..
Here it\'s hard to go by any other name than my own..
Surrounded yet still so alone inside..
I don\'t know why they hide and play games with me...
12/26/2018