They have told me it needs to be rebuilt
That my body has decided to eat it self
A form of skin cancer that just won\'t heal
Yesterday I thought I was just getting advice
Instead he spoke some words I couldn\'t recite
Told me to lay down under the most intense lights
Stuck a needle in my nose that felt like I\'m in total recall
Before I know it I can smell my own burning flesh
The job is done and he\'s telling me what will happen next
They will take some skin from behind my ear or neck
This won\'t be easy as it\'s been left far too long
My attitude of just letting things happen didn\'t help this one
I\'m now in a rut knowing I did this all to myself
The stress I create in all the decisions I make
As I sit and write down all the emotions in me
Nothing is clear I don\'t understand a dam thing
Is this what I get for always wishing on my own demise
From a teenager, to a divorce with half my parental light
I stress my self out with deeper than deeper thoughts
Once the brain has been so low its so easy to go
As I keep hearing the sentence to rebuild or reconstruct
It feels like I\'ve been fighting this all of my life
So now I surrender and forgiving my past inner thoughts
This life is mine to live and I need punish myself no more