Finally
Everything is coming together with the most exquisite synchronicity
It all makes complete and perfect sense
It is what the fuck it is.. .and, what it is
is absolutely breathtaking
Amazing
Beautiful
Bountiful
I live for these moments that were once random
Rare
Forgotten again and again
So that remembering becomes miraculous
My ancient soul is ablaze with magick that I have co-created with everything I have been forced to persevere
I have found my truth from the bottom up
Backward to forward
I have even figured out how to take complete chaos into my essence and embrace it, even though it would surely destroy any mortal man who would dare to try
But I have never felt like a man and in no lifetime have I ever really been one completely
Mortality was lifetimes ago if I ever had to live like that
Oh yes, I definitely did many many times
Life is always somewhat of a struggle, for what fun would it be to have everything handed to you ...it would be great fun but it is not supposed to happen
I see no point in looking back
Nor can I find any reason to try and calculate my next move before making it
Going with the flow was once a fucking impossible task for me
I had no concept whatsoever of such Buddhist maneuvers when I was wasting time pretending to be a macho man
Damn, I actually did an awesome job convincing many people of whatever I decided to convince them of
I could have been an actress but somehow I ended up becoming an exalted Master instead
I have been thrown skyclad into the winter air and left there for dead
(# Impossible)
From A to Z
and Z to A
before I sprouted my first pubic hair
My Mother cornered me back home in Albuquerque eight years ago in a single evening that nobody present could ever forget if we tried
That is another epic story all on its own
That was the first time she and I had the chance to speak in person one on one ever
Well, there was actually once a time when she was all that I could see and now I can see her better than I could back then
The fact is that we
have spent way more time apart than together and that is a fact that may never find the time to change
To the rest of the world, the way that I feel would seem very awkward, scarier than Hell
Strange
Uncomfortable
Try being me, who has gotten used to it
She posted something on Face Book saying that she feels uncomfortable herself in her very own home, which is quite palatial actually
She is on her little kick about moving her entire family out of this country
I wont be going without bringing the family that I have found over many years living on my own
If it is Costa Rica, she can bank on it
Her concern is silly and involves her political views which she uses as warfare for the whole world to see
Trump could give a fuck less about the political views of a female semi-famous author
I doubt the dude has ever read any fiction
Her political ranting has become her new addiction besides for her fondness of Hennesey and red wine
She will never cease to rant as long as she resides here in the United States
Her true freedom actually still awaits her
Somehow it has always been me who has had the ability to see everything flash before my eyes before they see it happen
I have always put all of them before me because the back burner was once my favorite place to keep watch and create
It is the only thing that I have ever wanted to wait forever for
The wait is finally over
I have embraced completely my entire existence
I really know how to live in the Now
So, come forward all and tell me that you wish to learn
Sounds like a perfect birthday gift for me
March 16th is right around the corner, after all...
If you bitches wanna come, then you had better bring party favors...
It is after all, the celebration of the birth of a fucking Queen....
February 3rd. 2019