It\'s getting way too deep
I don\'t know what it is that I am doing
So far behind
In financial despair
I can feel the drastic changes lingering in the air
I would sit here crying uselessly about how life is not fair
But nobody took me there but myself
Me
Allowing too many vampires to see my soul
Now, they are convinced that they can take it for themselves
Clearly, that is far from the case with me
It is an old game that I have mastered over the arch of time
No, I don\'t have a dollar!
I don\'t have a fucking dime!
Committing crimes upon my own well being
I have not been seeing straight for days
Just waking up each day hoping that it will somehow pay me
The snow has been falling for two weeks now
This shit is all way too crazy
I have been relentless
Careless
Reckless
Lazy
I had a small plan before now and now I think it may be my only answer
There goes a new life with this stubborn Cancer guy I have been hanging around
I thought that I had found someone who may one day meet me in the middle
But, I know deep down that these things take much more time
Perhaps this is only a temporary situation
Company to keep me safe from going totally insane
When all the ice turns back into liquid, the answers will be more than clear
I need to think about myself as I get up out of here
I cannot take him under my wings for they no longer even allow me to fly
Everyone who I have nurtured in my past have found some reason to blame me for why they need to run
You cannot teach an old dog new tricks
When they make up their minds, it is no longer safe to get up in the mix
They are going to do whatever it is that their instincts tell them to do
Especially if they have already faded deep enough into the black
It\'s crack cocaine for the other side
It enables the conjured ones to feel like they are actually alive
The darkest of the shadows thrive upon it
It is the fatal liquid that always searches for the spoon
The liar that hides from the Sunlight and dances against the tide of the Moon
It is the one who is responsible for the shitty things that are happening to me now
It follows my trail always
It urges me to forever to take it into me
It needs to see me fail
I already know damned well not to ever be so blind
This is why it wont ever let me leave it behind me...
2/17/2019