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LittleGift

The Star That Chose to Fall (picture drawn also by me)

You were my brightest star

A vibrant blaze of lustrous energy in a sea of flickering lights 

I was captured by your gaze 

Your benevolent nature kept me safe from the shadows and I trusted you to guide me through many of life’s journeys 

I felt safe 

You were home to me 

 

As my own light began to grow,

you beamed proudly over me

I was climbing the ladder to the sea of stars, 

to one day stand by your side, 

and I hoped I could shine as brightly as you

 

For you were my inspiration 

The one star above all others I looked up to

To me you were an everlasting, unbreakable force

My strength and mentor in life

 

I did not notice your vulnerability

Focused only on your wisdom and strength, 

I hadn’t caught sight of your flickering lights 

A star struggling from within to keep their light burning at its brightest 

 

I wasn’t prepared for your light to go out 

 

On the night you chose to fall from the sky,

my world came crashing down 

and I felt only darkness surround me

My sky would never look the same again,

now you had extinguished your own flame 

 

Your final words haunted me as I questioned myself,

and wondered how I hadn’t seen the signs

How had I not noticed those little flickers of self doubt? 

I felt abandoned in a world that no longer made sense to me 

 

Pain set in and my heart was eclipsed with fear, anger and guilt. 

A medley of emotions surfaced and for some time my own light faded to a dull desolate tone

 

I felt alone 

 

But with time comes much contemplation 

And I did my best to forgive myself for failing you

 

Today I stand with my dreams firmly held in my hands

With the intention and same vigour you once showed me 

I clasp my dreams and think of you

For you always believed in my dreams 

And I still believe in you 

 

 

For my Dad David 31/05/1948 - 31/12/2003