My heart pounds in constant want.
The tides of life pull me under.
My lungs scream for air that I’ll never have,
Love I’ll never experience.
My head tells me to be confused,
My heart feels straight.
But doubt settles
And there it is.
The permanent seed.
And the eternity of longing.
In,
Out,
In,
Out.
Counting breaths,
One day,
Everyone says it will come.
I’ll find “the one”
And I’ll be satisfied with life.
Then why am I so reluctant?
Why do I want what I want,
When I don’t even know what it is that I want.
I know I want them,
The mix of Damon and Stefan,
The combination of Jace and every other fictional character I’ve fallen for.
Because I fall for all of them.
And I fall harder and faster than my parachute can take.
My constant loop.
My own curse.
Personalized rabbit hole that spirals
And spirals
And never stops.
I never stop.
People always want what they can’t have.
Guess I’m just another dumb sucker that fell into life wrong.
What do you know?
Now I’m stuck.