Who knew that when I found peace
That it came with side effects
There were no warnings
It didn’t take long to identify them
I’m confused by the peace
I’m sad because I’m not appreciating it
I’m scared that it won’t last
I’m mad at myself because I’m wasting it
The days I wake up surrounded in peace
I just find myself crying while I smile
From an unstable past
To now
It doesn’t feel right
I wished for some stability and peace
But it wasn’t what I really wanted
I’ve learned a lot
Now that I’m not climbing the fence
I’m looking through it, wondering
Did I really want to leave
If I miss my breakdowns
It was the life I had
The life I understood
That I lost
I have to understand my present
No one has the answers
So I sit in a daze
Hoping to see the day where life makes sense
-.t.b.