As a body feeds a virus, like blood feeds the tissue, you multiplied in my heart like an epidemic infection.
I think I know what love is; love isn’t something other-worldly, or gifted by God — in my experience, it’s physical, like the deep paling feeling of the stomach before vomit. Like the consuming rush of adrenaline after a fight, or swelling behind the eyes before the tears break.
You make me want to cry, fight, dance, laugh, throw up my body weight in fluid and shout swear words from the rooftops. You inspire me to rise another level, play Russian roulette just to see if it’s the only game you let me win. Like Achilles and Heracles, you throw curve balls at me and raise the stakes… but where am I going wrong?
Shock, I lost… but two days later, I’m back in class like nothing happened — not just learning where I went wrong, but what you always do to do beat me — because when you play the honest cards, always have the chance of failing.
I never learned to play poker, so no one taught me how to hide what I hold. The faster I learn, the less you think I see you cheat. We played card games like Snap, Old Maiden for fun…
Love is a game, and you’re cheating. But, I see you — I see where your hand goes and that smirk behind your deck, but as I’m holding my straight flush you tell me you “love me”… when my tutor says,
“Everything you hear at a Poker game is pure shit.”
(I am okay, just under a lot of stress right now so yeah)