Years ago
in a distant land
called five miles from my house
I went to elementary school.
This school was ten minutes
away by car
and ten minutes walking
to the nearest drug dealer.
That drug dealer is still there.
Still my acquaintances and I,
I would never call them friends,
remained blissfully ignorant.
Through the years of
diversity
unity
and preaching about what
bullying can do to someone,
I was ostracised by my pears.
For my weight
anxiety
hair style
clothing
clothing that we couldn\'t afford like them.
I didn\'t grow up poor.
I live lower middle class.
I grew up weak
in a situation where it was dangerous to do so.
So I became tough.
I became the bully,
The mean girl,
the leather jacket.
Nothing changed.
My weight haunts me whenever I look
in the mirror.
I can\'t be beautiful because the first one
to tell me that I was punched me.
I will never be able to sing
even after years of choir and musicals
because my talent show audition made me cry.
I can\'t calm down because I\'m too
hyper. I can\'t be angry because what if it\'s a
downward spiral. I can\'t talk to
new people because I\'m boring.
I can\'t do anything.