As my tears fall, my heart becomes damp.
As the pain seeps through the cracks that form my false hope,
I realise my heart hasn’t smiled in days.
As my stomach rumbles in horror and harrow
As my mind aches and my vision blurs
I realise my reality has become my nightmares.
I hope for a sense of light, a sense of forgiveness
But the dark and dense whole that gapes in my soul feels permanent.
How will I ever recover from this feeling of loss.
The planet orbits my brain and I float silently in the abyss.
I miss myself.
I am grieving the smile that once laid upon my warm face.
I am grieving my past life that I tightly hold onto for a sense of normality…
Maybe I should let go
Maybe I should leave that old broken home.
I fear that if I abandon my shelter that I will never feel love again.
That I will melt away and loose my compassion.
If time was replaceable, I would replace the last 4 months in a instant.
My world feels like it is crumbling.
Will this pain ever weaken?
Will I find peace?
Will the images I have seen ever erase from the innocence of my mind.
Will I ever recover from the pain you have put me through.
I sure hope so…
Because the pain and heart break I have been feeling,
Is easily the worst pain of all.