that feeling.
to some an everyday battle
to others an irregular enemy worth the same fight
many won’t even know this antagonist
and for that count yourself fortunate
when that feeling entraps you
blinds and subdues you into belittlement
hope and rationality flee
almost as if they were never there
a numbness.
a whole new form of detachment
you become desperate for the very idea
of feeling again
that disparity makes you rash
you don’t think
-sometimes there is only one way to make yourself feel again even if it is your biggest fear.