Spica

i fell for you

fell in love with you a total of ten times

• i first fell in love with you when you and i talked about our passion, our art. as young and as unwise i was, i looked at you like you yourself were art. you constructed out of words I wanted to spell out, to rearrange and make sense of. i wanted to know how the universe could create someone as amazing as you.
• i fell in love with you when i knew i wanted to know every corner of your complex yet beautiful mind, no matter how dark it ever got.
• i fell in love with you under the stars, and while you tried so desperately to find stars and constellations, the only star i was thankful for that night was you.
• and i fell in love with you when my lips finally met yours for only a second, and when the sun nearly set, illuminating your beautiful green eyes. the single speck of brown in them glistening made my heart fucking sing.
• i fell in love with you when i woke up in the mornings to your room, surrounded by the light, and the colors, and the warmth, and you. waking up next you was something out of a dream that i pictured would one day be my future.
• i fell in love with you when you became not only my future, but my home, and any space we got to share was full of comfort, and i felt so fucking safe around you. like nothing could hurt me. nothing could phase me.
• and by god i fell in love with you and how your lips and hands ran over each of imperfection i had; every stretch mark, every cut and every bruise you looked upon, you accepted them. you accepted me.
• i fell in love with you and how you looked at me. you looked at me like there were depths to receive; a gift somewhat like the stars. as if you could hold a telescope to me and still find more to study and more to love.
• i fell so in love with you when you believed there was good in me. you saw my flaws but never asked me to change them for you. you saw me the way no one had ever tried to see me. you were always understanding, caring, and so gentle; even when i never deserved it.
• and i fell in love with you every second i got to call myself yours, because i didn’t think life could’ve gotten any better than that. i had fallen for you time and time again i know this list could only grow to a limitless amount, because infinite numbers would never be able to keep pace with how many times i could look into your eyes and fall for you one more time.

-thank you for the love i’ve loved the most.