there was a young girl from the coast
you could have her way faster than most
for the price of a snack
she\'d lay down on her back
or down on all fours for french toast
old Gladys from down at Southend
had desperate need of a friend
she was hardly top billing
but for nine or ten shillings
alright for a dirty weekend
that dastardly fellow from evesham
wherever did he get all his evil from
inside rotten as a pear
he would fart everywhere
feigning innocence, forever deceiving \'em
there was a young man from high wycomb
cor blimey he didnt half pick \'em
one gal had three nipples
and after a tipple
the bugger would get down and lick \'em
the spritely young vicar at st giles
kept the best young boys choir in the isles
rehearsals were rigourous
his tutorials vigorous
and all the lads suffered with piles