I think you have forgotten me
Although I don’t know…
Perhaps I have forgotten you
I have spent countless days
Bumping into white walls in nail piercing
Agony… trying to grope
Find my way back to your fields of bluebells
My hands and feet…
I don’t know if I can feel them anymore…
I have bent my head in attempts at prayer
Is there any use?
And what do I need from you?
I don’t know if I can answer these questions
Because you see, I can’t even help myself
Just tell me what you need from me
Then we can forever close that question
You see I am just a little lost person…
And you? I still don’t know who you are exactly
I think you are someone radiant and beautiful
But I am too far away from you
And I am certain now… quite…
There are no white doors
Even if there are…
I will not be able to open them
Anyway I don’t care anymore
But why are you looking at me like this?
Why? You don’t have to care… you don’t…
About this lonely lost soul of mine
It’s a strange being
So many rains have washed over it
But what’s the use?
It is still a dirty creature
Desperately looking for cover
In recycled cardboard boxes in the rain
Nobody needs it…
It only made a few other souls happy
Just leave me then and go
On your way…
You don’t need to take care
Of this lost soul of mine
You never understood it anyway…
As for me I will light a candle
To bury a runaway dream of mine
I will let it go at last…
At long last I will feel free
Free from restless anxiety
Anxiety that keeps me awake
At night and leaves gashes
Burgundy warm
On my yet breathing being…
I will let it go
To fields of bluebells
And I am certain that my
Lovely lost dream will make each
Azure bell ring…
Fly I will tell it and find your home… yes
Find a home wrapped in violet petals
Somewhere in the ellipsis between
Beauty and truth…
Then someone will shine a light
And I will see that my dream is safe
Happy and blessed by your warm hands
Then you can leave me forever
Because you see I don’t deserve you
I will bless you as you leave me behind
You have been so blissfully kind to my soul
Unlike me you had faith…
You always believed in my cartoon jungles
Drawn with broken pencils
In all the colors of the rainbow…
Yes you never stopped believing
Even when I played in the dirt
Beside graffiti-stained buildings
Or when I ran after shadows
And sleepwalked chasing sunrise like a ghost
Even when I broke windows with hailstones
For some reason you…
Well you never gave up on me
So give up on me now and let’s
Let’s close this chapter…
You and I are… we are done…
Let them close the curtains
And perhaps there is someone
In the crowd who deserves the care
You once bestowed on me…
Just give me your final cue…
I will make my bow…
An elaborate one, in this case…
Yes, because this is the end
I am letting you go
To join another beautiful soul
A soul that believes in beauty and truth
I simply wanted to tell you
Please forgive me…
I didn’t mean to lose my dream… or you…
This is my cue then
Let them scatter my cards all over
Yes all over the blue lawn
Let them…
And I will learn to collect
The milk drop by drop
After all, I have just spilled it again
Then perhaps you will forgive me
One day… many years from now
And I promise… that I will try
I will try not to lose myself completely
I just want to see your golden wings again
Please let me glimpse them once more
Then you can fly… I am letting you go
You can go far away and blend with the sunrise
Go… go… but I promise that I will faithfully draw
Your cartoon jungles in hope that one day
Once more I would deserve to glimpse your shadow
Your ageless shadow on my windowsill…