Twenty years ago I was brought into this world
Not entirely into a loving family but here
I caused issues and depression right off the bat
A small child with the fault of saving a marriage
Nineteen years ago is when the abuse first started
At least from the stories I\'ve been told it was
From being dropped to being thrown and screamed at
How could someone do such a thing to a small child
Eighteen years ago things didn\'t get any better nor worse
I was a bit behind in development, but to no concern
Every child grows up and learns at their own pace
I was just being raised incorrectly and too slow
Seventeen years ago was my first memory of life
I didn\'t know who or where I was
Supposedly I was in my own home
Something hasn\'t felt right ever since that day
Sixteen years ago I had started preschool
I was excited and ready to go, didn\'t fight at all
Somehow even as a small child, I knew I wanted out
I didn\'t make many friends, I didn\'t speak much
Fifteen years ago I still was not speaking very much
It caused concern for the teachers trying to urge me
However, my few friends would have a ball with me
Despite being rather quiet, we had a fun time
Fourteen years ago was when grade school first began
No more AM/PM courses and being gone half the day
The social cues were being learned and I spoke more
My excitement merely grew, being one of few to enjoy school
Thirteen years ago I started to go on vacations with a friend
We went to Vermont quite a few times a year
Her family took me along and we had a great time
We went biking, hiking, sightseeing, and camping
Twelve years ago things got really aggressive at home
I could sense that something was going to happen
However, I wasn\'t at home long enough to notice much
I practically lived at the house down the street
Eleven years ago was the divorce
My world seemed like it was falling apart
I never felt like it was my fault, why does anyone
Mostly it was betrayal and backstabbing
Ten years ago he lost visitation
In a sense I lost my father when that ruling hit
People trying to make me think he\'s the bad one
Yet he was just tired of fighting a battle he already lost
Nine years ago was the end of elementary school
Things were going quite shaky for me those days
I was learning betrayal from those I once considered close
I wasn\'t rich, I wasn\'t popular, I wasn\'t sporty, so they left
Eight years ago was when my world started to crack
I lost friends at a rapid pace, left with only a few
My anger problems grew yet no one would help me
I was merely a confused child trying to understand my life
Seven years ago things started to level out more
My depression got the best of me and I stopped going out
No more camping, no more sleepovers, none of it
I was getting isolated and bored, yet scared to admit it
Six years ago I got really sick with something unknown
I spent around a month in and out of hospitals
We never figured it out, but it went away
Swollen glands and exhaustion, medications and tests
Five years ago was the start of high school
They claimed they\'d be the best four years of my life
My weight fluxuated and my body chemistry freaked out
Worse then better acne, abnormal cycles and depression
Four years ago I finally started to blossom
My weight started to slowly drop, face cleared up
I started making some real friends, gaining life experience
My grades rose alongside my happiness
Three years ago I was raped by an ex
I lost all my friends, gained Stockholm Syndrome
My mind was emptied and filled with anxiety
I stopped eating, drinking, showering
Two years ago I finally graduated
Even though it was on time, it was overdo
I felt like my whole world was coming to an end
My entire world and everything I knew was over
One year ago I lost my will to live
There wasn\'t much keeping me here
I stuffed depression and waited patiently
The wait for work and the fighting was too much
This year I\'m not feeling much better
I\'ve got friends, work, love, and hobbies
But my zest hasn\'t returned to me quite yet
I hope you come back to me some day, soon
Twenty years have come and gone
And yet I feel like there isn\'t much to say
I\'m depressed, abused, stressed, and done
I\'m building up the courage to take flight