I sit here and look back,
Look back at our wonderful life,
Our wonderful life together.
In each others arms for so many years,
Those times of joy walking the Dales
Where life was so green,
And our wonderful life was before us
Travelling the country both north and south.
The happiness being with our children,
Enhanced by our grandchildren.
Such wonderful times
Until that day,
That day when that word came,
Came into our lives,
Dementia!
All things changed
As that word attacked my lover,
Taking her brain and memories,
Taking her thoughts and feelings
Into her own world,
Her world where no one can enter.
The spark of love is there,
Her love for me.
My love for her will never fail,
But my lover has gone,
Changed into a person
Where context means nothing,
Where mood swings exist
That were never there.
I now live two lives
Doing everything for her.
Where once we shared our tasks
It happens no more,
Her mind has gone to another place,
A place where she can do nothing,
And I have to do it all.
It has been so long since normality
Where I could do things for me,
My strength of body
And my strength of mind
Is weakening,
I try not to show it to her
But each day it gets harder.
I am trapped in her world,
Her world of dementia,
But the one thing that will not fail
Is my love for her.
My love for her will go on
Even if it gets to that day,
Which may be with us soon,
Where she does not know me,
But I will love her still.