I listen to these people who make their words into a spoken word. But they don\'t know it. They don\'t know that I sit in my room writing till I have no more room. I felt closer to Mary lambert then I did to any of my family. They didn\'t get me it felt like they didn\'t want to. But I remember lambert saying love is love. I remember Clayton saying please don\'t kill yourself and he gave me a future to look forward to. Not that my familys love wasn\'t enough but they spoke to me like the doctors did saying it\'ll get better, talk to me, and be honest. The words I listened to said write. They gave me inspiration so I listened and my parents never understood why I wrote instead of talked. They didn\'t understand why I hated talking to a therapist for an hour but then went home and wrote alone in my room for hours. I remember getting mad at my mom cause she got the wrong notebook she said okay but in her eyes she was saying get out of my face it\'s just a notebook. So I wrote and then I decided I would make a future out of it even though I was scared to post one video. I\'d be on a high and take video after video but then when I came back to reality I never posted any I believed all the lies I believed that no one would listen that people don\'t care. I\'m sure that\'s what nate felt the first time he wrote.