I have all you could wish for, like living a dream
A partner that has so much love, children that understand me
Yet I continue to feel unloved and it\'s not by them
So it must be still, something that sits within me
Driving alone to pick up the kids, listening to techno beats
My tears erupted as the first lines hit, then ran a few times
Was this actually a wish or dream, I have inside
It\'s not what is rooted and was making me cry
This came from that true wish that I just wanted to die
So I will write to this dark past, to give light from the future
Now sharing in the present to help us find balance
Asking for guidance to have the ability to change
For the only thing left is to go back to go forward
Remembering that to live is a wonderful achievement
Not just to throw away or let the drugs hide the feelings again & again
Nothing feels right but everything is okay, as I sit beside me again & again
Ready to face the shadow that can not cope, knowing somehow we give others hope
Yet when it comes to our soul we haven\'t listened once, each time that pattern repeats we let it go on
For me to truly become the observer, I must let go of what has never been willing done.
Now I\'m writing to see if I can accept my own challenge, but I ask to feel no shame whatever happens.