I want to tell you that you have impacted my life in more ways than one. I’ve lost everyone, I’ve loved, I’ve gained the wrong people back, I’ve simply beat up myself and others because of you, but I don’t blame you. I don’t blame anyone for the bad things that have happened to me unless they were caused by a selfish act or thought. I blame myself. I blame myself for letting you take over me, I blame myself for letting out the good inside me and letting you take over.
I blame myself for all those days locking myself away within myself.
I blame myself for all those insecure moments because I am amazing.
I blame myself for letting my past, get to me.
I blame myself for allowing others to hurt, use and abuse me.
I blame myself for letting myself fall.
I won’t let these lies let you, Anger take over me No matter how much it’s eating me alive.
So things are going to change
Anger you are still welcome in my life because let’s face it, everyone gets angry from time to time but THIS time. This time we are going to express our feelings in a more compassionate and positive manor. We will not lash out or ask questions. We are just going to move forward and stop trusting anyone with our feelings and our time. We will stay alone because being in a relationship is not what is for me. What’s best for me is being alone, No matter how much I want to be with (him). I need to face he is never coming back. So I must be alone even if I am innocent.
No I don’t want to be alone because being alone means, I’m not with him. How do I get him back? How do I show him that I am not guilty of what is being accused? I’m innocent. Anger I let you do this to me and I won’t let that happen again. I lost the love of my life and now a new life is going to begin.
Anger I let you make me confused you can see it in this write: Alone/ not alone make up your mind! All of this is constant, it never stops going through my mind. Yes I want him here with me, but dammit why wouldn’t he have my back and believe me! This isn’t his love. But I love him… see.