baddaytobealive

Silhouette

Shhhh

 

Listen

Do you hear that?

Do you hear the silence?

Good

This is my chance

For a moment of painful bliss

I call it “painful” and “bliss”

For the same reason:

It’s a lie

I finally shut the lids

That weigh down on my tired eyes

In that same second

A silhouette appears in my vision

It’s breathtaking

It’s magical

It’s glowing

It’s kind

It’s you

God, it’s you

Look at you

Damn it!

 

Shhhh

 

My mind splits in two

It’s not real

One half says

Don’t fall for it

And my eyelids wrinkle

As I try to shut them harder

But look

The other tries

Look how beautiful

And peaceful

Look how happy you could be

 

Shhhh

 

It hurts

Stop

Please

I’m begging you

 

Shhhh

 

Shhhh...

 

It’s okay baby

Your silhouette says

As it rocks my body

Back and forth

You’re okay

And it still hurts

But this time

I can shut that one half out

Of my restless mind

 

Shhhh

Hmmm

Hey there

Hi

I’ve missed you

You press kisses

To my temple and shoulder

Me more

You don’t visit me like you used to

I’m sorry

I try

I really do

But it hurts so much

I cry

As you hold me

You wipe a tear off my cheek

And kiss it

It’s okay

I’m right here now

I’m not leaving okay?

I promise

 

Stop!

It’s a lie, you idiot!

 

My eyes fly open

And just like that

You’re gone

I find myself

Still rocking

Back and forth

Only this time

It’s not your silhouette that rocks me

It’s the force of my tears