I loved you

“Hey!” I will knock on your window once
And say these words
just once.
I loved your crooked ways,
The way your smile was devoid
Of sentiment.
I loved the way you couldn’t recover.
I was like a nanny to a broken child.
Your were the ebb
That made me immobile
But I still loved you, didn’t I?
Remember those dark nights,
With darker descents?
Those long talks that made no sense?
Your melancholy
That I soaked in my loyalty.
Your sweaty brow I kissed again and again in
My dreams, not a daydream or
Close to coming true.
I loved your inferiority,
I loved your descent,
I loved looking into the reflection that
Made me mad like the hatter.
On the 13th of July I cry.
On January, I missed the kiss.
On March, you broke,
You lied.
I loved the lie.
I loved the projection on the wall.
I loved myself after the storm;
The skies cleared,
The sunset was painted in pastel
And not beige.
You were my demon which I couldn’t face,
You were my lost identity
That I couldn’t trace.
It’s better you stay
A memory and not meet in flesh.
For in flesh,
I would rupture.
For I loved you dear.
Departing words of a young and departed