Kevin B.

Monophobia

I wait and wait for you to just talk to me

I’m not sure what it takes for you to see

I just want you to love me

 

to see me as someone who cares

I’m not perfect but I love you...

I mess up, I do things wrong..

I try to do things like you want me to

But I mess it up too like crows attempting a song..

The more attempts i make I still end up with broken pieces

 

Without you I’m broken, a shell

You shutdown and shut me out all the while I’m in hell

 

Without a voice, response or text

My mind is surrounded by silence and darkness

Leaving me alone lost, vexed and perplexed

I feel the silence creep in filling my ears

An empty void swallowing me whole

My chest tightens and my mind screams

The fear of being alone keeps me humble....keeps me kneeling at your feet....

I don’t want to say or do anything that may cost me my seat....

Do I love you, or am I just a slave to my fears and in your control.....

I sit in the darkness begging for your love and attention like a lost dog for table scraps

I do my best to keep the pain and anxiety under wraps

You don’t notice or maybe you don’t care...

It doesn’t matter I can’t let go, to find someone that cares about me is too rare...

All I wanted was for someone to care

In the end I forgot that some people just pretend....