I was such a happy kid
Although then I knew I was different
Things hurt me greater than others
From sound to the smallest touch
Hurt my ears and irritated my figures
So much I would burst in tears
But I was happy
And I was proud to be me
Then
I got much older 7-8 I was a confused child and curious at best
I always imagine me meaning so much to someone they would do all they can to protect me
Created dramatic scenes in my mind as if it was from a movie
Yes I had dreams
Of being loved
And I
Yes I
I was loved very much loved
I was always creating the same scenes from my life just more expressive
But the confusion came in strong
I started feeling sharp turns in my mood
I started getting sad
Extremely sad
To the point, it was energy draining
I didn\'t understand and back then there was nothing I knew that could explain this feeling
So I tried to end it
The only way that I knew of
I try to run away couldn\'t make it out the front door
I tried to put a pillow over my face but I gasped
Oh just one more
My final try it was just unlucky but lucky
I tried hanging myself in front of my mirror wall
I did
I tied it around my neck and jumped off my bed frame
Expecting to let go but instead
Just to see the monster that everyone has been talking about
Every kid knows
But something about my monster just was not the same
I know I know
Everyone reads these books about the monsters that are in your closet or under your bed
But my monster was in mine
It looked like me
Spoke like me
Even moved like me
In that mirror, I realized who the monster really is
Me
JUST ME
A me I recognized but didn\'t recognize
A me I just wanted to drown
A me that didn\'t speak the truth
A me who lied about feelings
A me that hid in my room until the morning light
Just to eat not to talk
Because that was not seen as a treat
A me that locked the real me in
The little girl
She was just a little girl
The little girl who was happy just unfortunate
The little girl who dreamed to be loved
But what that little girl didn\'t know is
That the person who was not going to love her
Was...
HERSELF
Copyright ©2019 Tia Davis.All Rights Reserved.No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author or publisher. All my poetry is copyrighted and stored in author base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3),Tia Davis.