I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I let him take me when you needed me most
I’m sorry I let him destroy me
I’m sorry I let him destroy us
He took so much of me
All of me
But it was so slow, so calculated, and so manipulative
No one saw it coming, not even you, not even me
He started stealing little bits, and then big chunks
and before I knew it there was nothing left
When you came back
there was nothing for me to give you
and you needed so much
and I wasn’t me.
In fact I’ll never be that me again, she’s gone
He destroyed her and I built a new me.
I miss her. And I miss you.
And I hate that he stole me.
And although I spend all my time
thinking how strong I am,
how tall I stand,
how much I grew and how wise I now am…
I still wish from time to time that I could rewind.
That I could take back all my pieces.
That I could put them back, just as they were.
In just the same order.
And I could give them to you instead.
Because I know you would have cared for them.
Tended to them.
And returned them.
And I could still be that me.
And we could still be us.
And I wouldn\'t have to keep saying
I\'m sorry.