forcing yourself forwards by struggling
tried to steer backwards to
keep to the past but that meant I had to guard
myself from letting you down by
spewing out nonsense just want no contact with
anyone outside of you please
take me out of hazier days and drive through silence together
then give me to the water
a kind that can’t be irrigated a body that can’t be drained
before you say silent goodbye
travel on to your better destination before I begin to
hunt out time because
you make your own mental montages stronger than reality
reels only hold the highlights but
our real holds all the failures as well that makes me question
how long can I keep telling myself
I am working towards being enough for you trying to find by
winding round and waiting
the alarm sings before starting but gets quieter when
you grant it focus only
had one purpose but we were too naïve to drink it all in for
.
ten days is more than
we will ever need shifting our lives around to
take view of the better map and
where next to seek which window to look out of and
which new vulnerability to cradle
trying to do this amidst the with the background noise but
can’t settle the sun through
burnt eyes holding too dear for being here again as if you
needed to check up on me the
second I let you back in because I feed problems with
different patterns hoped to
row through the storm because we played it off as light rain
an access denied to many
too many than we’re happy with begin to digress into
comfortable climates from
times easier lived but harder accepted threw you
out and into so I could
parade the deck alone living the life of glory as a life of selfish