Forget what I told you. Forget how it came out. Allow me to start over. From the start.
I\'ve wished for alot of happiness. Hope. Safe runs to get me through my life. Would you be able to join me? My uneasy patterns. My growing desire to be alone? Would you be willing to break my comfortable routine for silence? Could you be the one who helps me get out of this shell? This breathtaking habit?
You have ups and downs. I know, I do too. You hate being sad and alone. Sometimes I do too. You love the light so much you wake to watch sun rises. Well I wake to watch the sunset. Strange twist is, I\'ll still be up to watch the sun rise with you. Would you be okay with that? The sleepless nights? The walks in the dark?
This is not a test. And I\'m sure you\'ll run into so many others just like me. Yet if you\'re willing to fight, I\'ll kindly let you do your best. I said before there were walls I\'d never let anyone reach over. They would have to crash through and take my heart hostage. Bullying me to love them. However I\'m trying to be a little more \"doable\". What I mean is, I\'m trying to be more understood. More approachable. More likeable to people like you.
So those walls are still there. Shorter even. Cleaned of the battle scars and missing bricks of shaking failure. Those words I wrote on the inside...gone. Erased. Not to show off the walls fascinating structure, but to give anyone a second chance. Maybe, even you. Give it a go I\'d suggest.
I\'m sorry if this is still too much to get past. Guarded but willing. Defensive but open minded. Have you seen me lately? My mind is calmer. Quieter. Simply simple indeed. You can see the foot of the first wall now. Isnt it different. If by some chance you decide to break through though. Dont expect me to let you go any further. Questions. Hesitation. Distance. Could you handle that? Could you break through the next? My dark room. The sky shines above, yet where you will stand, cold and dark. You wont be able to see or hear a thing. That\'s the time I choose to surprise you.
Will I break away to my third sector? Or will I embrace you and invite you in?
Will I let you in? That\'s where only I will know if I will or not. Dont get me wrong. You COULD fall in love with a guy like me. And it will be a battle. Yet I\'m not going to let you just jump in and go.
I like this feeling. Loneliness. It\'s got some trouble behind it, ofcourse. However that broken promise I\'ve made to myself fades away every moment now. Take that opportunity when you see it. Because I\'ll be blind to it.
To put it simply. Surprise me...before I surprise you. Don\'t pull me out, and question me why I\'d want to go back to that place. It\'s not gonna be easy. But I promise. It\'s a battle I\'m willing to fight beside you. Hoping for once, I\'m not left to build up again.