Two years ago I published the first poem
Two year\'s ago learned I could put my thoughts into paper
Thoughts that up too that point were the reason I feared waking up in the morning
Because just like every other teen in the world I felt that relying in others was the sin I couldn\'t come back from
That others need to rely on me to make me feel worth it
So these thoughts
These horrid thoughts were crashing around and around till one morning I start doing my poetry homework
This assignment was published in my teachers school paper
My thoughts were real and people could finally understand what I was sayiing to them in voice but on paper now
One year ago I stopped making poems
One year ago I had made a break through
I had finally coming back to reality and was sleeping at night
I still wrote everyday but I didn\'t need to publish
Everything was going right
I had friends who made me feel wanted and not needed
I was exeling in school
I was single once again
I was heard and didn\'t need a poem to explain my thoughts
Today I\'m afraid
Today I am struggling with this soul that should be mine
I am back to square one
My school work is behind
My friends need me for mental guidance
My job which I should be happy about because they want me to be a manager is pushing me to near hospitalization
I have no clue what I want to do with my life
Adulthood is coming fast and I can\'t seem to see the bulit
My ability to make myself feel a stab or gunshot as if it were real is as haunting as the wound would be
I don\'t want to let people down, but I can\'t process what\'s in front of me
My thoughts are back
My thoughts are back
Two years ago I found my voice
Today I have to find it again